Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Today I had a terrible binge. I got my test out of the way so I thought I would celebrate by eating nandos. I hadn't eaten all day so if I hadn't had that I would have done so well. I really am a dumb stupid bitch. I cried for so long after eating, I was about ready to kill myself. If I would take it that far to make being thin be the whole worth of my life then why do I binge so bad everyday.
87 kilos. I am a fat bitch. I think that guy turning me down has really put a toll on me. I'm never going to lose weight because everyday I am going to binge and say ''I'll start the diet tomorrow.'' Which means I'll never have a boyfriend because lets face it guys are superficial bastards who won't go out with a fat girl, even a chubby girl.
I was following the weight loss comp, but I fucked it up majorly and gained weight instead of lost. I am going to attempt to get perfect points from this day on. I am going to exercise every single day and I am going to be 69 kilos my short term goal weight. Ultimately I want to weigh what a model weighs 55 kilos.
I was thinking I should give myself rewards every time I reach my goal weight. Clothing, dvds, cds, games things like that. And from now on I am going to take lunch to school and exercise
everyday and have salad every single day.
Wish me luck everyone I need it so bad!