Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Today I had a terrible binge. I got my test out of the way so I thought I would celebrate by eating nandos. I hadn't eaten all day so if I hadn't had that I would have done so well. I really am a dumb stupid bitch. I cried for so long after eating, I was about ready to kill myself. If I would take it that far to make being thin be the whole worth of my life then why do I binge so bad everyday.

87 kilos. I am a fat bitch. I think that guy turning me down has really put a toll on me. I'm never going to lose weight because everyday I am going to binge and say ''I'll start the diet tomorrow.'' Which means I'll never have a boyfriend because lets face it guys are superficial bastards who won't go out with a fat girl, even a chubby girl.

I was following the weight loss comp, but I fucked it up majorly and gained weight instead of lost. I am going to attempt to get perfect points from this day on. I am going to exercise every single day and I am going to be 69 kilos my short term goal weight. Ultimately I want to weigh what a model weighs 55 kilos.

I was thinking I should give myself rewards every time I reach my goal weight. Clothing, dvds, cds, games things like that. And from now on I am going to take lunch to school and exercise
everyday and have salad every single day.

Wish me luck everyone I need it so bad!


  1. Thx for your sweet commenton my blog =)
    I guess we could motivate each other pretty good.

    And I can understand you sooo good actually. I have been on track again, then I started to binge nearly every damn day.

    *hugs* stay strong, we both will make it

  2. Hey girl. Nice blog :)
    You can achieve your goals.. Many did it before you. You got the motivation already! Keep thinking about the end result, how good you'll feel.


  3. Don't let yourself have a defeatest mindset. You CAN do this. You HAVE to do this.

    Good luck. I know you're going to do great. Just don't overload yourself and you'll be able to hold out.

  4. I really like your idea of giving yourself a reward every time you reach a goal weight! Mind if I steal it? ;)

    I know that losing weight can be discouraging sometimes, especially when you have a bad day like you had today. Just try to stay as positive as you can about it. Don't dwell so much on what you are now but just think about what staying on track will lead you to become.

    You can do this. Stay strong.

  5. Good luck! Stay positive.
    You can do it :)

  6. oh doll i know how you feel!
    think how amazing it'll feel when you've lost the weight and can turn those guys down
    i'm setting myself rewards for goals to try and keep focused too
    good luck

  7. the reward system is a great idea..
    and its not food rewards! :)

    i wish you luck!
    god knows im trying so hard too..
    i totally feel the same way about guys, that it just drives me to look better and look hotter and be envied. one day, that will happen.
    and it will happen for you too <3

  8. good luck! you'll get there, we all have slip ups!