Sunday, May 31, 2009

Worst feeling

I went to a party the other day of my friend s* and this guy who is a friend of s* was there, that s* wanted to set me up with. I don't know at all if he was into me, but usually if a guy likes you he'll just make his move. So I'm guessing no.... I'm almost definitely sure it's because of size. He even said he is 160 lbs (I'm 191 and he's way taller than me). I hate myself so much for being fat, I feel so sick today every time I think about the fact that he must of thought ''s* should have told me how fat she was''. I just want to die. I'm not eating the rest of today but from tomorrow I am going to work so hard to get my weight down. I'm going to try and reach maximum points on the weight loss competion. This is true motivation. I hate how many times I have been turned down by guys. I'm a 21 year old fat virgin loser who needs to lose weight if I want anything out of life.

Monday, May 25, 2009


I've been reading everybody's blogs for a while now. So I thought I should make one finally so here it is. I'm really fat! I weigh 191.4 lbs and I'm a size 14. Last year I had lost a size, but I gave up when I got depressed and food and alcohol was my only comfort. And all the weight I lost came back including a size bigger than I was originally.

This time I have to lose it. I don't have a choice. I know it will solve all of my physical problems, here's a list of them:
1. Get a boyfriend (I have never had one, yep I'm sad)
2. Be skinnier than all my friends, who all share clothes and generally just make me feel bad about my weight.
3. Get into drama school at the end of the year.
4. Fit into tiny clothes.
5. Get my mum off my back about my size.
6. Be actually considered good looking, rather that people only seeing fat when they see me.
7. Have a flat stomach
8. have a bikini body