Tuesday, July 14, 2009


As disgusting as this looks I have to admit I'm not far off, if you can imagine 187 pounds on a 5'8'' frame its not pretty.

I really need to get my life together and losing weight is a big part of it. If I could just get rid of 20 pounds asap it would make a world of difference.

I've lost it before I used to be 217 pounds 4 years ago but I've taken so long to lose it like 5 pounds at a time that no one ever noticed except for a couple of friends I met up with after not seeing them for a year.

I don't even know why I binge it doesn't even feel good anymore. I have to say starving is feels way better.

Starting from this second I am going to fast until Saturday night -where I'll take a break for a party with alcohol. Then I will fast again until Tuesday. It will be easy too, my parents are away so they won't be able to tempt me with food. And I need money so I'm not going to waste it on takeaway and save what they give me.


  1. Hey thanks for posting on my blog. I think you have made great progress! I wish you the best of luck. I want you to reach your goals so here are a few tips. While some fasting days can be cool, its best to take it slow to avoid binging. Here is a great site to help you


    You can caculate the max calories you should eat everyday if you get tempted to binge. Also try to avoid junk food, fast food, soda etc, you know the drill. I rarely eat fast food that now I get phyiscally sick everytime I do.

    The ultimate goal is to change your view of food. It should be simply used for nourishment and energy nothing more or less. I think people binge for comfort. And people starve because they fear food. Anyway sorry for my rambling just know that you can do it! And feel free to message or email me if you need it.

  2. Hello, Im new to your blog but I just wanted to say that I so agree with you that anything over 170 just does not look good. I myself am 5'8 but as of currently Im 175. It make me sad but lately I've been trying to find people who are around my height and measurement who want to slim down as well. I found you thankfully and I overjoyed at the fact that we seem to share alot of the same wishes and goals.

    Now I'll say this upfront, Im really bad at keeping touch with people and updating and all sorts of things but Im gona to try to root you on wards toward you goal. You've come close once before so I know you can do it again!

    Feel Better and Don't Give Up!!

  3. Hi! I'm new to your blog too : D
    I really like it though and I'm sure you'll lose that 20 lbs in no time ; )
    Good luck with the fasting too! I'm fasting right now myself.
    Stay strong <3

  4. Hey hun. Don't worry, you can and will lose weight, I'm absolutely certain :)
    I'm here if you need me.

  5. You can do it. You just need to be more patient. Take one day at a time. :)

    I think these videos are very inspiring, they perhaps help you...:



  6. I feel like I look like that too.
    eugh. I can't believe I ate what I did today.
    good luck with your fast, :) x

  7. If trying the same thing over and over again isn't working, the solution is ... to continue trying that same thing?

    Obviously starving isn't working for you because it just leads you to binge. So, maybe you should try a sustainable method of weight loss? If you would cut wheat, corn, dairy, and other common allergens/bloat-foods from your diet and eat maybe 1500 calories a day, the weight would come off, and it wouldn't be so prone to come right back!

    I speak from first-hand experience. I went from 145 to 120 purely through exercise and moderate eating. I didn't even realize I was losing weight until I was down to 125 because I just felt so good and never really thought about food!

    Then I started starving myself. Lost maybe another 5 pounds. And fell into the binge-purge-starve cycle. Yet because I had lost the weight in such a healthy and sustainable way, even binging and binging and binging couldn't force me to break a ceiling of 128 for a MONTH. And then I gained all the weight back because I was binging everyday.

    Point being, exercise and moderate eating worked, and then self-starvation fucked it all up!

  8. PS: I am 5'11" so 120 was pretty damn thin, an ideal weight for me! If I had just been happy with it instead of succumbing to the vapid, thoughtless allure of the eating disorder, I would still be that weight today, and food WOULDN'T be such a mental sticking point! Eating disorders aren't worth it because, long-term, they just don't work. And life is just so much more interesting when FOOD isn't on the mind 24/7!

  9. Girlll
    I'm out here for support. <3
    You can do this. And purging sucks.
    Keep up the good work! :D

  10. Hi girlie. I have pretty similar stats. I'm 5'7" and weigh like 175. I know how you feel. We just have to stay strong. We can both do it! Food luck. Stay strong and think thin!

    With love,

    Lola <3

  11. I love your courage!. I'm 6'2, and I weigh 170. I'm not unhappy, but i would like to weigh a little less.